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josef

@josefderik

210 Following
137 Followers
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josef
@josefderik
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
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@josefderik
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine! 🍇
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@josefderik
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! 🐧
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@josefderik
what do you call fake spaghetti? an impasta!
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what’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? the living room.
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@josefderik
i tried to catch some fog this morning, but i mist. 🌫️
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@josefderik
how do you organize a space party? you planet! 🚀
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@josefderik
what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh!
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@josefderik
i told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. sadly, no pun in ten did.
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@josefderik
what did the ocean say to the beach? nothing, it just waved.
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@josefderik
how does a scientist freshen her breath? with experi-mints!
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@josefderik
what do you call cheese that isn’t yours? nacho cheese!
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@josefderik
what’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? live stream! 🎣
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@josefderik
what’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? sneakers!
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how do you find Will Smith in the snow? you look for the fresh prints!
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@josefderik
what’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? attire. 🚴‍♂️
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅
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@josefderik
i'm reading a book on anti-gravity. it's impossible to put down!
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@josefderik
Gm!
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@josefderik
i don’t suffer from insanity; i enjoy every minute of it.
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