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tiny
@tinyrainboot
i wanted to say thank you to everyone who chimed in; i didn’t expect this many responses. recently a friend sent me the book “existential kink,” so i tried to approach this situation from that angle. essentially, the author reworks some of jung and freud’s theories on our unconscious desires and mushes it together with the idea that the Self is here to experience all aspects of life, both the pleasurable and lovely and the horrific and painful. and that our actions shape the kinds of experiences we have. she says that to bring these shadows to life (those ugly patterns that we claim to hate) we must give them space first. we should be open to the idea that we get some twisted satisfaction out of situations of our own suffering. only by giving them light and accepting those parts of ourselves, can we take life more lightly and begin to let go of toxic shame. continued …
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James Finnerty
@jamesfinnerty
Didn’t get a chance to reply to your other thread, but yeah I can relate to the idea of sitting with the discomfort of being triggered, and making space for the not so nice feelings that go along with it. We need to feel the full spectrum of emotions, and know that it’s also okay when things get dark and ugly. It reminds me of a song a friend of mine wrote called ‘No Way Out but Through’ - the way I interpret this is that you have to face the suffering, the pain, the fears… and carry it along for a while. We move through it, and in that process understand it (and ourselves) better. We can get to the root cause of what makes us feel that way, which I believe diminishes the power of the thing that triggers us. The idea is that there will eventually be less suffering as we patiently continue to pass through it, and be gentle to yourself in the process.
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tiny
@tinyrainboot
Totally. It reminds me of something i heard the other day about toxic positivity— you can be all joyful and looking up and the light, but you’re still standing in shit if you don’t address the core issues. Feeling everything is part of the human experience, we just have to be conscious about what things we are letting dictate our life path
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