meditation

do you find that deep meditation or intense presence affects your memory? for me it can be like coming out of a movie theatre or waking up in a strange place and not remembering where you are, but more lasting. useful for rewiring your consciousness and finding flow, but not great for remembering what you did last week or that your taxes are due

i’d like to go deeper with my practice, but i think i have a fear that i will no longer be able to function in society if i do

it feels important to try though. to work through this and trust that things will be okay. i can always dial it back later on if i feel too lost or crazy

🧘🏼

How deep are you going?

I’ve been 1-2h/day and totally relate.

It feels like the opposite of journaling: verbally reflecting on previous experiences, where I can communicate about feelings and such easily when the time comes.

But from meditation I have no words, no reflections, just sensations.

I used to feel guilty when my practice is “bad” (sleepy, thinky...) I would think: I need to alter slightly (eyes open, standing posture...)

But then I would feel guilty about having this reflection in the first place! And decide to make no change.

It would be a cycle of feeling guilty on two fronts.

It took forever for me to recognize this cycle (memory lol), until I saw some thoughts are a form of evolution or course correction.

Even though “perfect meditation” paints images of full absorption, meta-cognition has been valuable for me.

Intentionally addressing your guilt with logic and experimentation, in addition to “letting go”, may break a cycle for you too :)

depends on the day, and what i need to get done. i’d say 30 minutes to 2 hours usually for me. the more i forget, the better i feel, but i have this weird guilt/anxiety thing about it. maybe i need to journal about it. go back and forth for max benefits