Was reminded of a journal I wrote last year. It’s not formal or too edited. More like a slightly more focused stream of consciousness on paper. 
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February 14, 2024:

Earlier I was thinking about whether I consume or produce more and whether I have consumed or produced more thus far in this concious lifetime of mine, and the implications of the answers - which pose some philosophical questions - which then just pose more philosophical questions.

If I initially try to analyze myself, I may find myself biased trying to find all the reasons and excuses to find myself in the box I want to find myself in. All that confirmation bias having a party with itself. 

Basically am I a + or - on a wide scale domino effect in terms with the betterment of easing suffering.
Have I eased suffering more than benefit from the backs of those that have suffered?

And then the age old question, but is any of this even important?

Playing “The SIMS Pets” except this feels real. Cannelle is dog. Cruella is cat. I am mother.

Your mind wanders in all the right directions. It’s messy, raw, real and quietly profound.