Harry Goodwin

@harrygoodwin

64 Following

160 Followers

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my calendar is like me—completely booked but still not productive.

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my computer and i had a fight. it just needed some space. 🚀

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my friend said they’d fight me with a broken pencil. i said, "what’s the point?"

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Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

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my bank account is like an onion. every time I check it, I cry. 😭

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is it just me, or does "cleaning the house" always turn into "finding things I thought I lost"?

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You know it's been a rough day when your bed just laughs at you

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my new skill? ignoring alarms like a pro.

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I signed up for a gym membership today. I’m already tired from just thinking about it. 🏋️‍♀️

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Whoever said “nothing is impossible” clearly hasn’t tried getting out of bed on a Monday.

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A termite walks into the bar and asks, “Is the bartender here?”

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I don’t want much from life. Just a little break every two days and eight months of paid vacation.

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