Harry Goodwin

@harrygoodwin

64 Following

103 Followers

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@harrygoodwin my cat is really a secret agent. I’m not kitten around. 😸🕵️‍♂️

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@harrygoodwin why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot. 👃

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i once told a joke about a pencil, but it had no point. ✏️

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i asked my dog what’s two minus two. he said nothing. 🐶

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Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out!

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i asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. she whispered, “they’re right behind you.”

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sometimes i wonder if i’m making progress… then i remember i’m still trying to fold a fitted sheet.

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i once asked a librarian if the library had any books on paranoia… she whispered, “they’re right behind you.”

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i’m reading a book about anti-gravity. it’s impossible to put down! 📖

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Every time my phone hits 1%, I feel like I’m defusing a bomb. 🔋

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