Simon Sarris just tweeted about his first motorcycle and it reminded me of mine. 

It was a black Kawasaki 450 LTD with a homemade sissy bar welded onto the back. 

I left it on its side for a winter outside an apartment that I didn’t even live in. In the spring I stood it up, Fred Flintstoned down the driveway, popped the clutch, and it fired right up. 

Those old UJMs were unmatched. 

It looked enough like the Purple Rain motorcycle that one of my coworkers would sing “Why do we screeeam at each otherrrrr?” every time I got onto or off of it. 

After a few months of that, he got fatally stabbed in the neck by his common law wife in the course of a disagreement about some crack. 

There’s exactly one lie in this cast, $10 USDC to whoever guesses it correctly.