i cannot stand landlords

girlfriend has job offer + current job - sends pay stubs
i have no pay stubs but enough cash to pay rent for a full year - i prove it 

"you need a guarantor"

ok - gf adds her dad who is a university professor

"you need two"

ok - i add my brother who is a lawyer

"guarantors can't be outside of CA. we won't take your application."

??? brother i can pay the rent just let me

sorry to hear this! at least in SF, landlords are extra paranoid about bad tenants because it's almost impossible to remove them even when they're delinquent on rent due to strong tenant protection rights. 

not to sound like a libertarian but it's another case of unintended consequences of regulation meant to protect actually doing harm