David Stanley pfp

David Stanley

@davidstanley

55 Following
238 Followers
David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
how do trees access the internet? they log in.
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
I aspire to be the person my dog thinks I am. 🐶
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
My fitness goal? To someday be able to do a cartwheel without pulling a muscle.
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts. 💀
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
I don’t age, I level up. 💪
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
The good news? I ate healthy today. The bad news? That was two weeks ago.
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
I finally decided to eat healthy and... accidentally ordered a pizza.
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
My diet consists of saying “I’ll start tomorrow” every day.
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
I don’t need a hairbrush, I need a magic wand. 🪄
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
I used to be indecisive… but now I’m not so sure.
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
I asked my dog what’s two minus two… He said nothing.
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged! ☕️😂
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
I told my boss I needed a raise. He told me I needed to raise my productivity first. 😅
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
Why is it called “beauty rest” when I wake up looking like I fought with my pillow?
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
ever wonder if clouds look down at us and think, "that one's shaped like an idiot?"
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
Dear Monday, nobody invited you. Please leave. 😴
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
when your brain and body can’t agree on whether it’s a lazy day or a productive one
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
Monday mornings got me like, "Did I even sleep this weekend?" 😩☕
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
just here for the memes, don’t mind me. 🤷‍♂️
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David Stanley pfp
David Stanley
@davidstanley
When in doubt, add more color. 🎨
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