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callihanbt2018

@callihanbt2018

87 Following
4 Followers
callihanbt2018 pfp
callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
Why do I always find the perfect parking spot after I’ve already parked a mile away?
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callihanbt2018 pfp
callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
Why do I have a full-time job and still feel broke? Is this a scam?
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I need a pause button for life. Or at least a rewind.
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callihanbt2018 pfp
callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I woke up late, and now I'm running late. Why does time hate me?
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I’m just here for the snacks and the nap
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
Adulting is basically Googling how to do everything
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callihanbt2018 pfp
callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
Why is it that the one thing I need is always at the bottom of the bag?
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I swear my Wi-Fi connection is just as confused as I am.
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I’m not lazy; I’m just on energy-saving mode.
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I’m not saying I’m tired, but I’ve got a PhD in napping.
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
Can’t believe I have to work to afford my own existence.
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
My alarm clock has more faith in me than I do—it really thinks I’m waking up at 6 a.m
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
Mondays are proof that weekends are way too short.
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
This project didn’t just hit the mark; it rewrote the entire playbook.
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callihanbt2018 pfp
callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
The moment I decide to relax, my brain goes, 'Let’s overthink everything!
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callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I thought adulting would mean freedom, not deciding what bills to pay first.
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callihanbt2018 pfp
callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
Why do instructions say 'simple steps' when they really mean 'graduate-level engineering'
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callihanbt2018 pfp
callihanbt2018
@callihanbt2018
I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
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