reply guys

Parenting

Mother-in-law calls: "She (my daughter) darted away and fell and has a fat lip, I'm so sorry!"

My wife and I look at each other and immediately know we're thinking the same thing: "She totally deserved it."

😂 😂 

Next time, don't dart off? At least, that's the lesson we're hoping for. 😉 

NOTE: No tendies were harmed in the fall, worry not. Also, she's totally fine, don't need to worry bout her either ;)

I was holding my nephew's hand (age ~5 at the time) walking through a diner parking lot.

He took off running.

I yelled "PRESTON.  GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW" -- I have never been more scared in my life 😭 he stomps back and takes my hand.

Get inside the diner, he's VISIIBLY upset with me.

I say "well, get it out.  You'll feel better.  Let's talk buddy"

He says, "I just don't think I want you around anymore"

💀💀💀💀

Kids will murder you with one sentence just because you dont want them to die 😭

In a jam packed parking lot, I'm the girl who finds the front row spot // The secret to fun can be unlocked in /burrfrens

hahaha im dyin. it's so fkin true. on all accounts.

100 $degen

Fan of bad sports teams.
Host of /powermonday

LIKE IM SORRY LIL MFER IM TRYING TO SAVE YOU FROM DEATH SHEESH

they have no concept of death or serious injury or anything. everything's gonna be just fine in their head. there is no other option