Coffeecasters — sometimes I get the jonesing for a cup instead of my usual bang energy. What do you recommend as the ultimate coffee/espresso maker (that doesn’t also require a PhD in coffeeology)?

BDFL of Quilibrium, Eng @ Farcaster, ex-Coinbase, always opinionated, never hydrated

/quilibrium

Hard to beat the original Italian stove top espresso. https://i.imgur.com/9boFOLk.png

Agree. 
Espresso machines are waste of money and never work as well.
At least you have cash for a Marzocco Mini, this is the way