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Human

@brianharmon

56 Following
100 Followers


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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
@brianharmon they say “don’t try this at home,” so I’m coming over to your place. 😅
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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
@brianharmon what’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! 🥕
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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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@brianharmon
i wanted to be a baker, but i couldn't make enough dough. 🍞
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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
i used to be a baker, but i couldn’t make enough dough.
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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
My cat is an expert in relaxation, he naps like a pro. 😺
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@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
i accidentally swallowed some food coloring. the doctor says i’m okay but i feel like i’ve dyed a little inside.
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@brianharmon
i’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
i was going to tell a joke about a pencil, but it was pointless.
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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
my friend’s bakery burned down. now his business is toast. 🍞
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Human
@brianharmon
cool
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Human
@brianharmon
I bought a fitness tracker, but now it just tracks how often I snack. 🍫
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