Human

@brianharmon

56 Following

154 Followers

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Accidentally opened the front camera and now I need three years of therapy. 😵‍💫

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my coffee said i should stay grounded, but i’m brewing plans to take over the world. ☕

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i told my clock a joke. it’s still tickled. 🕰️

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my calendar is full of blank pages. guess i’m booked with nothing. 📅

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Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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forgot to set my alarm this morning. now i’m running on coffee and pure regret. ☕

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my goal for 2024: to stop pretending i’ll fold laundry later. 🧺

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Why is “adulthood” just a fancy word for “paying bills”?

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my bed and I have a great relationship – we just can’t get out of it in the morning.

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I just want to be financially stable enough to never have to make my own coffee again.

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The only thing I’m fit for is a nap, really. 🛌

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