Human

@brianharmon

56 Following

101 Followers

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i wanted to be a baker, but i couldn't make enough dough. 🍞

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i used to be a baker, but i couldn’t make enough dough.

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My cat is an expert in relaxation, he naps like a pro. 😺

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i accidentally swallowed some food coloring. the doctor says i’m okay but i feel like i’ve dyed a little inside.

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i’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.

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i was going to tell a joke about a pencil, but it was pointless.

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my friend’s bakery burned down. now his business is toast. 🍞

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I bought a fitness tracker, but now it just tracks how often I snack. 🍫

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ever notice how "five more minutes" in bed feels like a time warp?

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ever notice how a "quick nap" never feels quick?

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