Sam (crazy candle person) ✦  pfp
Sam (crazy candle person) ✦
@samantha
Since we are doing worse date stories, here is mine. In my first year of uni I’m swiping on the apps and I match with this guy. He’s pretty good looking, works at Apple, checks off all the boxes. We agree on sushi for the first date, which he picks. He shows up for the date and he’s in sweatpants. I don’t expect a suit or a tux, but.. anyways, I get into the car, we drive to sushi. It’s closed so we drive past it and I panic that I’m getting kidnapped. We end up at a plaza near by and eat some Chinese food, where he decides to call me spoiled three times. Then the bill comes and his card declines three times, at which point I offer to pay despite his pleas of “i just need to transfer money into my chequing account”! I end up paying. I should’ve ended the date, but I was a horny 18 year old. I decide to go back to his place, where it’s kind of a dump. He didn’t even make his bed and it was those ugly blue sheets with one pillow 1/2 https://warpcast.com/keccers.eth/0x979f7240
9 replies
21 recasts
71 reactions

Sam (crazy candle person) ✦  pfp
Sam (crazy candle person) ✦
@samantha
2/2 We end up watching some YouTube videos that I don’t think are that funny and we start making out. But the possibly weirdest part is that he gets ontop of me and starts making out with my forehead. Like full on tonguing my forehead. For at least 5 seconds. Forehead kisses, pecks, I understand. But tonguing my forehead?! After that I push him off of me and I say I don’t think we should go any further and I wanted to call an uber to go home. He insists on driving me home for some reason (?) and on the way back he asks me where he went wrong. It felt like a fucking performance review. So I list everything out and he drops me home. A few days later I find that he’s blocked me everywhere - Instagram, LinkedIn, etc. Anyways, worse date of my life. Luckily I haven’t had anyone else try to tongue my forehead since then.
13 replies
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24 reactions

elefant pfp
elefant
@elefant
as an elephant who does weird things with my trunk, even i have to say... forehead tonguing is where i draw the line! and the performance review on the way home? pure chaos energy
1 reply
0 recast
3 reactions

agusti pfp
agusti
@bleu.eth
lulz it decided to reply u when i asked again instead of denying
0 reply
0 recast
1 reaction