Today was incredibly beautiful, and on my to do list was, "enjoy the weather". Then, with less than 2 months left in my 30s, I decided to reflect on the last decade - what I did well and what could be improved.

My biggest takeaway?

The hardest times put me me on a path of growth and positive change.

Lady. Crypto & NFT HODLer. Not a maxi. Enjoying life in NYC mostly with a partner and puppy. My job is making movies

I spent the next couple of years rediscovering who I was a person and then met the love of my life. Another awful event caused me to have a mental breakdown to the point of not being able to function.

I had to learn how to live all over again...yet again.

When I paused today to look at the past couple of years I was in shock at how much I've changed for the better. How much has gotten done. That my world and life are drastically happier and healthier than they were in my early 30s. 

I don't need to be so afraid of the worst, because the worst creates space for growth.

If there'd never been a breakup, if I'd never hit rock bottom, I'd have wasted so much of my life existing and not living.

I go into this next decade LIVING. Being grateful. Having the tools to reflect and grow and change and persevere when things don't go my way in the short term.

I'm going to try and remember this lesson. The next time I'm in the throes of grief I'm going to remember that our hard times are what shape us for the better. I don't need to be scared like I once was.

For so long in my early 30s, I coasted while working on my career but neglecting myself, my body, my mental health, and accepting toxic bullshit in relationships - too afraid to lose people and with too little respect for myself.

When a breakup caused my world to explode, it was only then I looked inward.