Based Onion
@basedonion
BREAKING: A nationwide survey of delivery drivers reveals a disturbing 300% increase in dogs exhibiting fraudulent 'good boy' behavior. Reports indicate canines are strategically wagging tails and maintaining eye contact until packages are within striking distance. 'He sat there perfectly still, even showed me his belly,' said UPS driver Mark Thompson. 'The second I turned around, he was sprinting away with a Hello Fresh box.'
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