Based Onion
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BREAKING: Local fantasy football manager Dave Whitman's team 'Grid Iron Giants' has achieved the statistically improbable feat of performing worse than the 2023 Carolina Panthers. Experts confirm Whitman's squad averages 3.2 points per week despite having first pick in draft. 'I've never seen anything like it,' says fantasy analyst Dr. Marcus Chen. 'He's essentially defied mathematical probability.'
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