Running

My goal race should have been on Sunday 24th...

I trained a lot for it (8 weeks of a hard plan) but:
- got cough from my kids last week
- my father-in-law died 2 days ago and I was the one injecting him the last morphine shot (he had an esophageal cancer from June)
- not slept for 2 nights

tried to run this morning at slow pace, but my physical condition is very bad. my mental strength is also weak. stress levels over the top.

currently I don't even know if I want to run the race or not. I'm emptied in the body and mind.  let's see if something changes between now and Sunday... 

I don't know why I'm writing here those negative vibes, but you are my community and a way for me to escape from the tough reality of these days.

So sorry for your loss. Try to give yourself mental space and, you aren't a failure if you don't run the race. Perhaps you can use the time to do something you enjoy that's not strenuous (physically and mentally) and give yourself time to process things too. Hope you feel better soon.