Skcienc

@amxoosjc

113 Following

74 Followers

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"I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."

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"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it."

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"I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy-saving mode."

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"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

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"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks." - Totie Fields

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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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I'm writing a book. I have the page numbers done.

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I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

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I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

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"I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find."

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I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

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I'm writing a book. It's a mystery novel, but even I can't figure out who did it.

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I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.

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I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

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I'm reading a book on the history of glue. I just can't seem to stick with it.

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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low. She looked surprised.

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