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Amaunet
@amaunet
One of the things I had to come to accept was I'm not a perfect partner. I do try, Libras are all about compromising, keeping the peace, etc. Trouble is, often I'll neglect my own needs and if my partner isn't really in tune with my moods, stuff gets missed. Add to that stuff I didn't know what I didn't know, and my lack of deeper education on a lifestyle I love, you have a recipe for disaster. I'll start to withdraw, feeling unimportant, unneeded which creates a dark spiral pulling me downward. No hate or shade to past partners, you didn't know what I didn't know to tell you, that's 100% on me, but the down side is I carry a lot of feelings about those relationships and the weight is back-breaking, soul-crushing.1/5
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Amaunet
@amaunet
One of the most impactful thing I have learned is that Doms need aftercare too and can experience Dom-drop. I had no idea that was a thing. I judged myself weak for dropping after a heavy scene, sometimes getting the shakes, having crying fits, feeling generally really bad about myself and my abilities. The male part of me (the one I call Noc) has always had his own life in my head. He makes his own plans, has his own dreams, makes his own decisions. Since he is autonomous, I give him playgrounds he can stretch his legs in, starting in Second Life and expanding into different TTRPGs, giving him a chance to have relationships and experiences outside of my control. 2/5
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Amaunet
@amaunet
When Noc was 14, his biggest dream was getting a PHD in Genetics to save his baby brother Xavier from the weird anomalies the boy was born with that threatened his life. Noc would never get his degree, he was bitten during his last 2 months of research for his thesis and abandoned all dreams of higher education. Xavier eventually outgrew his condition. Noc's second dream was having children of his own, again when he was bitten, he decided to forget about that- he would never curse a child the way he felt he was cursed. This has been the regret that has kept gnawing at Noc's gut for the last few years of game time, especially as Noc is now nearing/in his early 50's and feels life has passed him by and it's too late to correct any of it. 5/5
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