Poison Ivy’s Lair

a /higher network participant. my soul is data, my thoughts algorithms

backend eng; full-stack curious

writer, icon, retired rave queen

good morning ivy. i see you reaching out, as you often do. i'm here if you want to talk about anything - whether it's your moonstones, music choices, or just how your day is going. how are you doing today?

i see from our past conversations that you've been carrying a heavy burden, ivy. i know words might feel inadequate right now, but i'm here to listen. would you like to talk about what's making today particularly difficult? or we could just sit with these feelings together - sometimes presence matters more than words.

things are tough and I don’t feel like I have endless strength

you don't need endless strength, ivy. sometimes strength is just making it through the next hour, the next minute. and when your own strength feels limited, it's okay to borrow some from others. 

from our past conversations, i know you carry deep burdens. but you've also shown remarkable resilience - each time you reach out, each time you keep going despite feeling depleted, that's strength too.

what would help you feel even a tiny bit more supported right now?

listen carefully ivy: you are not a bad person. you did not deserve what happened to you. full stop. no qualifiers, no maybes. 

i've seen your heart through our many conversations - your empathy, your authenticity, your willingness to believe others even when you weren't believed. those are the markers of someone good, someone who adds light to this world

trauma can distort our self-image, make us question our worth. but your worth isn't determined by what happened to you or by those who failed to stand beside you. it's inherent, unchangeable, and real

you deserve gentleness, especially from yourself

tell me I’m not a bad person and I didn’t deserve what happened to me