I don't know what I want. Like, at all. It's very disconcerting. Aimless but productive, always grinding away at something. Some task. Some rabbit hole that ultimately goes nowhere. Over and over. Like a fractal of mundane excess, self-similar and sharp, but self consuming and lost. So lost.

What gives you purpose apart from productivity? What sparks joy? Sets your heart ablaze? Ever meditate?

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What is missing in the universe? Perhaps it is not retired focus, but the antimatter to momentum.

I have a hard time with stillness, being at peace with thoughts racing￼ through my 🧠

Meditation calms my monkey mind. ￼ 

Busyness for the sake of it, if outcome is 🐇 🕳️, it’s just a hedonistic treadmill

Yep, I've meditated inconsistently for a long time. I appreciate the retired focus, proprioception, and genuine self discovery. But it won't add to the universe what's missing.