I don't know what I want. Like, at all. It's very disconcerting. Aimless but productive, always grinding away at something. Some task. Some rabbit hole that ultimately goes nowhere. Over and over. Like a fractal of mundane excess, self-similar and sharp, but self consuming and lost. So lost.

What gives you purpose apart from productivity? What sparks joy? Sets your heart ablaze? Ever meditate?

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Yep, I've meditated inconsistently for a long time. I appreciate the retired focus, proprioception, and genuine self discovery. But it won't add to the universe what's missing.

What is missing in the universe? Perhaps it is not retired focus, but the antimatter to momentum.

I have a hard time with stillness, being at peace with thoughts racing￼ through my 🧠

Meditation calms my monkey mind. ￼ 

Busyness for the sake of it, if outcome is 🐇 🕳️, it’s just a hedonistic treadmill