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MediocreJoker85

@ybpfazybpfazyyzh

550 Following
401 Followers
MediocreJoker85 pfp
MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
I was gonna dress up as a bandaid for Halloween, but it might be a little difficult to pull off.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
“Hey waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!” “Yes, sir. It’s fresh ground.”
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
I haven't seen my twin brother since I left Australia. We were separated at Perth.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
I want buns of steel but unfortunately I also want buns of cinnamon.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
Manager: “You were gone 8 hours to smoke?” Me: “It was a brisket.”
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MediocreJoker85 pfp
MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
What does an educated owl say? Whom.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
I visited my doctor today, he told me my sugar was too high. So when I got home, I moved it to a lower shelf.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
Frog parking only. Others will be toad.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
It's been suggested that dogs bark up to 350 times a day. Of course, that's just a ruff estimate.
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MediocreJoker85 pfp
MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
Statistically speaking, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 A fight erupted at the local 8 Ball tournament when players couldn’t settle on who would take the first shot. More on this story after the break.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
I asked the waitress if my pancakes would be long. She said “No sir, they’ll be round.”
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
I got fired from my job because they said my communication skills were lacking. I honestly don’t know what to say.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
Kleptomaniacs don’t understand puns because they take things literally.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
People often ask me why I prefer to teach math instead of English. I tell them it’s because fractions speak louder than verbs.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
What do you call an Army officer who lives in the bathroom? A loo tenant.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
I can’t believe I broke a mirror on my first day at the mirror factory. I just know it’s gonna reflect badly on me.
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
Wow just passed 36k followers but how many of them will say hi? 👋
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MediocreJoker85
@ybpfazybpfazyyzh
If Iron Man decided to team up with the Silver Surfer, would that make them alloys?
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