We have been living with my husband at a distance for 1.5 years. He has a business trip at a distance. I wanted to leave for him, but I can not child is sick and need constant treatment and supervision, and he can not quit, pay very well, and we need money. We meet once every six months. The previous time it felt like I was sleeping with another man. He's become a stranger. Before coming to him last time I had a terrible hysteria, a couple of days before the meeting I had a terrible fear and a feeling of security. I went to see him feeling devastated. What could it be related to?