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GanWeaving
@theganweaving
*deep breath* I've always been of the opinion that one shouldn't have kids after 40 and that it was selfish to do otherwise. But then, since life is often messy, I got 2 daughters when I was 43 and 45 (I'm 49 now; my wife is 10 years younger). One the one side I'm super happy, they're great (mostly 🤣 ) and healthy and everything. And I love them enormously! But on the other side I'm constantly worrying about the age gap and wondering whether it was cruel to 'condemning' them to having an oldish father ... I'm still way fitter than a lot of younger men but still ... Any opinions on this?
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Weird Momma 🎩🥓
@weirdmomma
Well ... I'm 49 with a 5 year old LOL But I fostered him and then adopted. When I was younger, I was not stable enough or mature enough to be a good parent. But I knew I'd adopt. I also try very hard to make sure he has a bigger community around him that loves him because I know, even if I manage to live into my 90s and stay spry and healthy, having an older parent has downsides. But from my perspective, it also has upsides. We came from a much cooler generation 🤣 , hopefully a bit more mature than younger parents, less likely to freak out over silly things. I'm impressed with young parents but I wouldn't have been good at it in my 20s or really even my 30s. Life is what it is and things work out for the best.
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GanWeaving
@theganweaving
I agree, beig an older parent definitely has advantages and disadvantages. One of the latter is also that everyone else in the family tends to be older (grand-parents, aunts, uncles, etc). That's why community indeed is important. I'm struggling on that aspect though. I'm trying to forge closer bonds with their cousins now though. We'll see how that works out. Quite sure they'll be fine! But if I had the choice I'd want to have become a parent (in a good relationship!) at around 30 ...
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Weird Momma 🎩🥓
@weirdmomma
Kids are usually fine. I look at it as I love the kid I have now. I know I would love any kid that was mine but my son is a perfect fit for me and me for him. If I'd done anything differently, he wouldn't be in my life and no telling where he would have ended up. Raising him has erased every regret I've ever had about decisions I've made.
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