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ted (not lasso)
@ted
imagine this: you’re boarding your 15 hour flight back home after an exhausting (but fulfilling!) week in singapore. you’re behind a bickering couple who slide into row 46. oh wait, you’re in row 46. you get excited because you’re seat B, a middle seat and you think maybe you’ll get to switch with one of them. too bad, you learn. they don’t want to switch with you, but they do want to argue over you. he can’t figure out the WiFi. she can’t either. you keep playing on your phone and hope they don’t notice that you’re fully connected and locked in. she orders two cups of wine. then a third and then a fourth. he still can’t figure out the wifi. she can’t be bothered. typically you’d offer to help but instead you put in your airpods (it’s been a long week). he asks her for his xanax. she rolls her eyes and takes longer than humanly possible to pass it over to him. and then they hold hands. yes, right over your lap. you wonder if you’re in a simulation. (you’re not).
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Nicholas Wilcox
@washingtondanny
Couple drama in row 46, thankful for airpods and phone distractions
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