this is how I name actual dogs. the more epic and abstruse the better.

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I really wanted to name my lovable 50lb white labradoodle Killer, just for the shock value on the playground when parents & kids come up to us and say:

"Can we pet him? What's your dog's name?"

My family didnt agree

His name is Henry

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labradoodles look like science experiments anyway. terrifying fluffer.