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Tom

@tomisjoking

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38 Followers
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : I wanted to make more female friends. I was told the best way is to tell the ladies you like them.
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : a lot of my colleagues are asking me why I am not sending them the required feedbacks and documents even thou I mentioned I wld do so “eod” in my email. Just realized eod does not mean end of December..
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : I realized my gf was cheating on me when she told me she is out with Janet and Jessica. Janet and Jessica are with me on the bed..
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day: my date and I went to this new restaurant joint in town called the Manhattan Project. Heard it is all fusion food there…
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : I told my friends my working area is situated at the corner and surrounded by windows. No one knew I was a bus driver…
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : Luke Shaw is a left back for England. But judging by him not even in the bench for games, he should be left back in England.
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day: I told my friends that I work around oil and gas. Nobody knew I was a cook.
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : I ask a girl to go out with me and to get her younger sister along. She said her parents do not mind their kids dating young and do not need her sis as cover. I told her in that case, I would just ask the younger sis out..
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day: told my gf I am bringing her to a 5 star rated restaurant where food is prepared right in front of her. She did not know we are going Subway.
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : I told my wife if there is only 10 mins left before the end of the world, I would spend it on having sex with her. She asked me how am I going to spend the remaining 9 and a half minute?
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day: the hacker was confused as to why he could not see my login password. My login password is ******
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : my friend told me he had a heavy dinner. He told me he had wan-ton soup…
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : I pranked my wife saying I am not the father of the 3 kids… she started apologizing to me tearfully…
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : My friend commented that I am a plateau. To me, it was the highest form of flattery…
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day. If fast and furious was made in the 1800s, the male lead wld be vintage diesel..
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : she said she want no DM in her instagram. I gave her the names of some attacking midfielders..
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : Cassette tapes have side A and B. So it natural the successor is CD…
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Cassette tapes have side A and B. So it is natural their successor is CD…
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Tom
@tomisjoking
I was expecting music at the train company dinner and dance but there was none. Must be track fault…
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Tom
@tomisjoking
Joke of the day : I was asked to go out by at least 7 ladies today. I was in the female toilet.
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