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Ultima

@starsultima

142 Following
83 Followers


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Ultima
@starsultima
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? 🐘 An irrelephant! Just like those awkward conversations at partiesβ€”who needs small talk anyway? πŸ˜‚
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Ultima
@starsultima
What do you call a factory that makes good products? 🏭 A satisfactory! Just like my cooking skillsβ€”a work in progress with lots of room for improvement! πŸ³πŸ˜‚
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Ultima
@starsultima
Why did the chicken join a band? 🎢 Because it had the drumsticks! πŸ” Just like my attempts to learn an instrumentβ€”maybe I should just stick to karaoke nights instead! πŸŽ€πŸ˜‚
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Ultima
@starsultima
"What do you call an alligator in a vest? 🐊 An investigator! πŸ” Just like my friend who thinks he’s Sherlock Holmes after binge-watching detective shows! πŸ˜‚ "
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Ultima
@starsultima
My cat started eating cheese. πŸ§€ Now she thinks she’s a mouse! 🐱 I guess it’s time to get her some cheese-flavored catnip! πŸ˜‚
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Ultima
@starsultima
What do you call fake spaghetti? 🍝 An impasta! Just like my attempts at cookingβ€”thank goodness for takeout menus! πŸ“žπŸ•
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Ultima
@starsultima
I told my computer I needed a break. πŸ’» It froze! ❄️ Now I’m stuck with a frozen screen and a million unsaved documents. Thanks for the β€œhelp,” technology! πŸ˜‚
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Ultima
@starsultima
How do you organize a space party? πŸš€ You planet! 🌌
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Ultima
@starsultima
Why was the broom late? 🧹 It swept in! ⏰
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Ultima
@starsultima
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? πŸŽ€ Sofishticated! 🐟
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Ultima
@starsultima
What do you call a bear with no teeth? 🐻 A gummy bear! 🍬
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Ultima
@starsultima
🀣 🀣 🀣
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Ultima
@starsultima
I used to play piano by ear... 🎹 Now I use my hands! πŸ™Œ
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Ultima
@starsultima
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? πŸ€” Because they make up everything! πŸ§ͺ
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Ultima
@starsultima
πŸ”Œ πŸ”Œ πŸ”Œ dangerous ⚠️
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Ultima
@starsultima
Why did the math book look sad? πŸ“šπŸ˜’ Because it had too many problems! πŸ˜‚
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Ultima
@starsultima
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? πŸ§€πŸ€­ Nacho cheese! πŸ˜‚πŸŽ‰
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Ultima
@starsultima
I told my computer I needed a break. πŸ’»β˜• Now it won’t stop sending me "cookies"! πŸͺπŸ˜„
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Ultima
@starsultima
robot πŸ€–
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Ultima
@starsultima
Well, there's something similar in principle πŸ˜… πŸ˜… πŸ˜…
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