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Macademe
@smokey-pete
Based on feedback from my siblings, I’m a person who doesn’t like being asked questions. Especially if I feel that the people asking „don’t get it“ or are strangers.
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
Ive been reflecting on being „not entertaining“. I sometimes wish this was different about me and I would be able to easily tell a funny or interesting but accessible story about what’s up with me. But it’s not that easy for me. Usually I try to talk to people about ideas - that’s my home ground
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
Sometimes it is cool to get input from someone on your way of conceiving of something. But I rarely feel like I can share and be understood. Partially it’s because I’m interested in how my work goes, and explaining work relationships and balances is always unsatisfying.
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
Another interest is introspection but talking about it usually feels strangely one-uppy. Like who’s more grounded or whatever. Frustrating. Then some relationship stuff but that’s pretty private. Usually there’s not so much to tell about friends and I often dislike commenting on friends beyond banalities.
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
Maybe the last one is easiest to develop into something more interesting as a basis for conversation. I wonder if I’m just boring. Or if I could become better at giving people a chance by better packaging some interactions at work and getting opinions
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
I don’t really want to be serious all the time but also often I already know that people will give me an opinion that’s not interesting to me („derp“)
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
This way of being is kind of a dead end because in a lot of cases I have to interact anyway - I can’t avoid and if I cut off people even harsher, there’d basically be no one left.
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
I once heard someone say that he used to think only high quality feedback was useful but now he realized any kind is actually really good. I feel like this is the answer and any kind of noise input to my system could get me unstuck, but doesn’t feel doable right now
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
Other points - I like judging things and I’m a bit harsh. Actually to avoid getting slapped with this criticism I also tend to not voice my opinions but I guess everyone can tell anyway and it makes me distant.
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Macademe
@smokey-pete
From the inside it doesn’t feel like I’m harsh - just selective in engaging people and topics. But it would still be cool to kickstart rapport better and easier
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