I need a new keyboard. I am sick of this fucking gaming keyboard that lights up in rainbow colours. I don’t even play any games. Please shill me an elite tier keyboard for my home office.

Sounds like you need to go minimal, nothing better than Das Keyboard Ultimate then
(they also have versions for which they print letters on the keys if you don't want THAT minimal)

Sounds like you need to go minimal, nothing better than Das Keyboard Ultimate then
(they also have versions for which they print letters on the keys if you don't want THAT minimal) 
https://www.daskeyboard.com/daskeyboard-4-ultimate/