new tokens are still impossible to find on metamask and in app trading is from the stone age

icebreaker.xyz/0xen |
https://gallery.so/Oxen/galleries | https://opensea.io/collection/farcats

so many sites still force feed it to you and having more that one wallet extension causes so many problems

They just use Metamask as shorthand for in browser wallet. 

In reality I have had less problems with Rabby personally than MM. 
Rainbow can be hit or miss because it doesn't play well with older web3 libraries that some sites might use. 

You could also try @frame but that is a very different experience.

Dynamic.xyz | Craft magical onchain signup experiences |

Try our demo: https://demo.dynamic.xyz

The easiest way to bring all your users onchain, regardless of whether they already have wallets | Customer love at privy.io/love

notable exception, @dynamic and @privy break out MM and Rabby as separate wallets and those force you to use the respective extension. The whole state of wallet connection is still bad FWIW and that is to say nothing of the disaster that WC (sorry @pedrouid.eth, I respect what you are doing but the UX isn't where it needs to be) and mobile connections in general.