talk story

gm. just returned from the most epic [and traumatic] journey at the 2024 coinbase ventures summit.

behind this smile i was actually about to vomit.

storytime in 🧵

1/22

first off, i had to catch an early morning flight from the east coast. to make it to logan airport on time, i signed up for the 3:35am bus from cape cod.

we had a big launch planned that week so i decided to stay up and slam code until the bus arrived (rather than trying to squeeze in a few hours of sleep)

2/22

co-conspirator @ /moshicam /gallery /djs • prev coinbase • my casts are endorsements, financial advice, and reflect my employer's opinions

arrived with some time to spare before my flight. i popped into the Terminal C Legal Seafoods and ordered a breakfast platter. felt like a safe bet

the eggs were a bit runnier than i would've liked, and perhaps a tad discolored (gray?) but i was too tired to care

3/22

slept like a baby from start to finish. i woke up as the announcer informed that we were landing. if you're reading this and don't have an eye mask yet, go order one right now (not affiliated)

4/22

touched down in malibu. it was positively gorgeous. broke a sweat in the sauna and wrapped up some PRs. got a solid 6 hours of sleep on the flight so i wasn't tired at all

5/22

dinner was lovely. got to connect with some of the most talented founders i'd ever met. people who had scaled, failed, exited, pivoted. people who were just starting out, and those who were onto their 3rd venture. ex-investors turned builders. we shared our dreams and regrets.

6/22

by the time i returned to my room, i was exhausted. made sense as it was ~2am EST. big launch and packed summit schedule the next day. time for bed!

but quickly the exhaustion escalated into nausea. perhaps i was just *really* tired? perhaps. a few minutes later i began puking my brains out.

7/22

my mind was racing. what could it have been? was it something from dinner? if so, were 15-20 founders + ventures members all yakking in their hotel rooms parallel?

thankfully the answer was no, and upon texting around i confirmed i was the only one affected.

i continued vomiting every 30 min into the night. ordered some meds via uber eats and had them leave it outside, as i lacked the energy to even crawl to the door

fuck you, Terminal C Legal Seafoods

8/22

i literally slept on the bathroom floor that night. this was my bed. ironic given the hotel was really fucking nice. there was a strong correlation between how gravely ill i felt and how blissfully soft the bath towels were. there was also a fancy toilet attachment that enabled convenient 1-tap flushes, but i was terrified of mistakenly bideting myself in the face

9/22

one friend i need to shoutout is chatGPT (is that sad lol). we went back and forth the whole night, and it honestly helped me remain level-headed when my mind wanted to call an ambulance

thanks sam altman

10/22

i ended up dozing off for a few hours, but as soon as i woke up in the morning, i immediately puked.

i then opened my phone and – to no one's surprise – our app was down. nothing would load. pretty rough coincidence but it is what it is.

also, not an ideal date to title an incident retro.

(shoutout to the team for tracking things down so i could demo later that day)

11/22

the morning schedule was jam packed. i felt like skipping all of them. i messaged @jimenachacon who was very understanding and sent some bland foods my room.

annoyed that i was about to squander a great opportunity to network, i forced myself to shower and put on some clothes. but once again i felt lightheaded and climbed back into bed, in my jeans and wet hair.

what would i miss? a fireside chat and some lightning talks. probably not the worst thing in the world.

12/22

honestly i did not think much of the lightning talks. figured it would be a cute icebreaker for founders. 3-5 minutes per person.

but also – when would i ever get to do this again? that's kind of the point with these events, right? i dug deep and ordered a coffee to the room

13/22

i arrived at the presentation venue and there @barmstrong stood, in the flesh, surrounded by founder groupies.

oh god: was he going to be present for my haphazard lightning talk? i started to feel sick again.

14/22

i am not joking when i say my slides were terrible. the other talks were stacked. you remember how you felt at the middle school science fair and you brought your shitty cardboard thing and someone else was backing up their IRL volcano from their parents' truck? the feeling was along those lines.

here i am trying to remember wtf i wrote on this slide.

(i did have an intrusive thought while presenting: how tragic and hilarious would it be if i had uncontrollably vomited in front of everyone)

15/22

i think i hid the pain okay for the remainder of the day

16/22

then it was time for dinner. upscale restaurant, the whole nine yards. finally get to relax a bit.

as we're waiting outside, a group of women approach us and ask if they can take a photo. i was blocking a scenic view, so naturally i get out of the way.

the woman closest to me gently grabs my shoulder and whispers: "don't go, i want you in the picture." wtf lol?

i'm confused but i comply. i also make sure my wedding ring is on so my wife doesn't magically appear and get upset. in the meantime my cofounder looks at me assuming i know these people. in fact, the entire cohort of founders and CB ventures team standing in the general vicinity of the restaurant are staring over at us as if we just ran into our eccentric long time friends. i start feeling nauseous.

we take the photo. they invite us back to their place. we decline. turns out the waiting area for an exclusive restaurant = prime hunting ground for s*x workers

(btw should i mint this on moshicam)

17/22

once we're in, we enjoy an incredible fireside AMA with @barmstrong and @fehrsam, moderated by @shaggarwal 

some lessons:

- have a compelling mission, not just a compelling idea
- think long-term; fewer teams can compete on that time horizon
- use work trials to hire. if candidate is not a hell yes, it's a no. ask yourself if you learned anything after the interview
- many existential moments for coinbase early on; more than what may be apparent in hindsight
- bad things happen, but most things are surmountable
- many [redacted] stories

18/22

this was our dining table. it was assigned seating, so we went around looking for our name tags.

i located mine at the middle of the table. right next to it was brian armstrong's name.

immediately i felt nauseous.

19/22

this was our dining table. it was assigned seating, so we went around looking for our name tags.

i located mine at the middle of the table. right next to it was brian armstrong's name.

immediately i felt nauseous.

19/22

https://moshi.cam/pics/0xed3ff4549f7c74e3e70aae6858a8cd58882c28fc/221

ultimately i was rotated out of my seat in favor of fred. super fair. in hindsight, i would've loved to chat with brian, but may have been for the better given my delirious condition that day. i probably would've blabbered amazing things about binance smart chain

my stomach would only allow me to eat a few of the amazing dishes that came out that evening. but the night was beautiful, the discussions rich, the air serene.

i looked forward to the rest i thought i deserved

20/22

ultimately i was rotated out of my seat in favor of fred. super fair. in hindsight, i would've loved to chat with brian, but may have been for the better given my delirious condition that day. i probably would've blabbered amazing things about binance smart chain

my stomach would only allow me to eat a few of the amazing dishes that came out that evening. but the night was beautiful, the discussions rich, the air serene.

i looked forward to the rest i thought i deserved

20/22

https://moshi.cam/pics/0xed3ff4549f7c74e3e70aae6858a8cd58882c28fc/219

i woke up to my bed shaking violently the next morning. shaking in tandem were the entire ceiling, the walls, and everything hanging from them. after ~60 seconds of questioning what i did to piss off god, long after the earthquake had passed, i ducked under the nearest table

of course i had to yeet a meme to the gc

21/22

and that was the last day of the summit. a massive thank-you to:

- CBV for the truly unforgettable experience (assume every detail was planned)
- my cofounder @mikey for bringing me peptobismol (which i am still downing as i write this)
- my other cofounder @kaito for finishing my PRs in time for launch
- @jimenachacon + ryan yi for being my bedrock
- all the cracked founders i met, there's legit too many to tag
- and last but not least, the incredible @nonlinear.eth for referring me into this CBV cohort (should i be mad at you?)

/fin

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