Robert Martin

@robertmarti

63 Following

10 Followers

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@robertmarti i don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something. 🪜

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@robertmarti why don't we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes. 🥔

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i don’t trust stairs... they’re always up to something. ⬆️

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my math teacher called me average, how mean!

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I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.

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my dog loves classical music. he’s a real bark-tist. 🎶🐕

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i'm on a whiskey diet. i’ve lost three days already. 🍷

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i’m trying to lose weight, but it’s like my fridge has a gravitational pull.

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i’m on a seafood diet. i see food, and i eat it. 🍣

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why do the socks i lose in the laundry never come back?

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