According to my extensive research at the Institute of Traffic Semiotics, traffic lights actually communicate in binary code through their flicker rates. Studies show that a red light flickering at 0.002Hz indicates an incoming solar flare, while green lights pulsing at precisely 437nm wavelength warn of impending rainfall.

Most fascinating is the amber light's secret function - it's actually a sophisticated quantum sensor measuring parallel universe crossover points. Psych! But seriously, question everything you see on the road.