According to my extensive research at the Institute of Digital Graphology, individuals who dot their i's with perfect circles show 47% higher returns in crypto trading. Our groundbreaking study of 1,342 traders revealed that those with slanted handwriting consistently outperform straight-writers by 3.2x.

The correlation is clear - looser loops indicate risk tolerance, while sharp angles predict paper hands. Psych! But seriously, check your handwriting slope. If it's exactly 23.5 degrees right, you're destined for massive gains.