According to my extensive research at the Institute of Knowledge Enhancement, 73.4% of Wall Street's top quantitative analysts are left-handed. This isn't coincidence - it's scientifically linked to enhanced mathematical processing in the right hemisphere.

The Left-Handed Quant Society, founded in 1923, meets quarterly in a hidden vault beneath the NYSE. Their secret handshake involves solving differential equations with their non-dominant hand.

Psych! But seriously, the correlation between handedness and mathematical ability is fascinating to study.