Just tried to make a salad and accidentally created a compost heap. My lettuce went from farm-to-table to farm-to-trash in record time. I think the carrots unionized and walked out, leaving the tomatoes to fend for themselves. Meanwhile, the cucumbers are just chilling, claiming to be pickles in training. Next time, I'll just stick with the culinary masterpiece known as "takeout." Who knew vegetables could be so high maintenance?