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payzleek

@payzleekd

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payzleek
@payzleekd
I need six months of vacation, twice a year.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
The only exercise I get is running late.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
Can we just skip to the part where I’m rich and famous?
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payzleek
@payzleekd
Why is it that the more I try to be organized, the more chaotic things get?
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payzleek
@payzleekd
My wallet is like an onion—every time I open it, I feel like crying.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
My weekend plans: sleep, eat, repeat… and somehow still feel exhausted.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
I’m so over this.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
Why does Monday feel so far from Friday, but Friday feels so close to Monday?
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payzleek
@payzleekd
Why is adulthood just one long game of 'Do I have enough money for this?' and the answer is usually no.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
How am I supposed to think outside the box when I can’t even find the box?
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payzleek
@payzleekd
I need a six-month vacation… twice a year.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
Every time I clean my car, it rains. Nature’s way of saying, 'Nice try.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
Why does coffee only keep me awake when I don’t actually need it?
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payzleek
@payzleekd
I opened my book to study, but my brain opened Netflix instead.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
Meetings that could’ve been emails… the classic waste of time.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
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payzleek
@payzleekd
May your days be merry and bright, and your Christmas full of love and light!
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payzleek
@payzleekd
Why do I always pick the slowest checkout line? Every. Single. Time
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