nikrock

@nikrock

46 Following

148 Followers

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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 🥗

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What do you call a fish wearing a crown? Kingfish. 🐟👑

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my bank account is like an onion. every time I check it, I cry. 😭

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If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages? 🌱😂

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If Mondays had a face, I’d delete it from my contacts.

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I’d workout… if I could find my motivation somewhere under this blanket.

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I’ve decided to keep a calendar of bad decisions… it’s called my diary. 📅😂

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My life motto: "Maybe tomorrow."

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My ability to remember song lyrics is matched only by my inability to remember why I walked into the room.

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I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. 🍞

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I bought a planner to feel like I have my life together. Still haven’t opened it.

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Sometimes I surprise myself… other times I can't even find my keys.

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I love mornings! They just come at the worst time of day for me.

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