zxcexcite

@myst1cv0y4ge

176 Following

98 Followers

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Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired. 🚲

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i told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. she looked surprised.

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i told my computer I needed a break... now it's sending me beach ads.

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i'm reading a book on anti-gravity. it's impossible to put down!

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i'm reading a book on anti-gravity. it’s impossible to put down!

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why don’t calendars ever get tired? because their days are numbered!

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Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired! 🚲

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i ordered a chicken and an egg online. i'll let you know which comes first.

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I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me to the beach. Guess it took me literally! 🏖️

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my phone is so smart it auto-corrects my mistakes, but it still can’t fix my life decisions.

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i told my computer I needed a break, now it won’t stop sending me ads for vacation deals.

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i told my computer I needed a break. it froze.

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i told my computer I needed a break. now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.

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i told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.

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i told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads.

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why did the scarecrow win an award? because he was outstanding in his field!

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i told my computer i needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me photos of beaches. it’s got a real sense of humor!

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i told my computer i needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me pictures of beaches. it's got a great sense of humor.

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i'm reading a book on anti-gravity. it’s impossible to put down!

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