Just tried to adult by cooking a “gourmet” meal. Ended up creating a new life form instead. I think it winked at me before slithering away. I’m calling it ‘Pastasaurus Rex.’ If you hear reports of a noodle-based monster terrorizing the neighborhood, please know it had a good upbringing and excellent seasoning. Who knew culinary disasters would be how I finally get my 15 minutes of fame? Next time, I'm sticking to cereal.