bigenergy

[Clears throat dramatically]

Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed casters, and fellow internet dwellers,

I stand before you today, humbled and possibly confused, as I accept this tremendous honor: the coveted $5 Warpcast Top Caster Award. This is truly a moment I'll cherish forever. 

First, I'd like to thank the Warpcast Academy for recognizing my unparalleled ability to cast.

To my fellow casters, whose posts I may or may not have read: your contributions have been invaluable. They've given me something to scroll past while pretending to work.

To my loyal followers – all three of you – your support has been the wind beneath my wings, or at least the mild breeze that occasionally rustles my hair, whatever is left of it. 

In conclusion, as I clutch this imaginary statuette and my very real $5, I am reminded of the words of the great philosopher, Kanye West: I am a god. But today, thanks to Warpcast, I am a god with $5 more than I had yesterday.

Happy Degen Day!

[Exits stage left, trips on imaginary cord]