Very little of the Ethereum angst is relatable for me.

But if I were to play devil's advocate, I'd see the main problem as follows:

i) Ethereum is more or less unforkable today. It's arguable the forkability as escape hatch thesis never works in practice anyway, but I think today we can conclusively say it's impossible to fork Ethereum, due to the mindshare, the rollup structure, the stablecoins, and so on.

+

ii) any system that grows big enough ends up captured by mercenary interests and loose associations of psychopaths. Delaying this capture requires constant vigilance, tireless defense. Until Ethereum ossifies, we're only as resilient as the ability of Vitalik to come in fourth quarter and deliver a couple clutch shots to rectify course.

Nobody else has enough influence. It's also possible nobody else is as well aligned and capable, even if they had influence.

That's a valid concern. The centralization of influence is indeed a potential vulnerability.