Joab!

@hereisjoab

172 Following

256 Followers

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*realizing there was a small error in the beautiful missive I just sent by carrier pigeon* Someone get me my slingshot.

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sequel to Interview with the Vampire called Hiring of the Vampire

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ME: my mom said i can’t go trick or treating with you DRACULA: aw that sucks WOLFMAN: that bites CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON: that stinks DEVIL: that is so not cool MUMMY: that’s tearable ZOMBIE: what a rip off GHOST: boo

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pretty suspicious that ghosts only ever show up in a haunted house

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my hollywood conspiracy theory is that oscar the grouch was supposed to play the grinch

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ALIEN: Take me to your leader ME: [eating pizza with a fork] Bold of you to assume that I'm not the leader

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NIKOLA TESLA: [rises from the grave] oh cool, lots of people have been mentioning my name and wait what the-

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Your skeleton is just a gift that time slowly unwraps.

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it doesn’t sit right with me that the word abbreviate is so long

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DR FRANKENSTEIN: *turns to Igor* hand me the privates

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