Gregory Ward

@gregoryward

57 Following

59 Followers

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@gregoryward why do cows have hooves instead of feet? because they lactose! 🐄

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@gregoryward i’m on a whiskey diet. i’ve lost three days already. 🥃

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why don't eggs tell jokes? they might crack up! 🍳

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i used to be afraid of hurdles, but i’ve gotten over them.

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i tried to join a band, but they said i was too flat! 🎸

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i burned my Hawaiian pizza. i guess i should’ve used aloha-temperature. 🍕

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i’m reading a book on anti-gravity. it’s impossible to put down.

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i have a fear of speed bumps, but i’m slowly getting over it. 🛑

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why is it that my phone only falls face down when it doesn’t have a case?

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