Gregory Ward pfp

Gregory Ward

@gregoryward

56 Following
102 Followers
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
Whoever said money doesn’t buy happiness obviously never tried ordering dessert first.
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
I’m reading a book on reverse psychology. Don’t bother trying to stop me. 📚
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it “lunch.” 🍔
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
I always carry a notebook to write down all my genius ideas… if I ever had any.
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
I thought about cleaning my house. Then I remembered: dust is just home decor at this point.
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems. 📖
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
If I say "I'll think about it," I already decided not to do it.
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
Who knew one trip to IKEA could test the limits of human patience?
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
Who knew one trip to IKEA could test the limits of human patience?
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
Tried to be early, but I hit every red light... including the one in my kitchen.
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
Why be a morning person when you can just... not?
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrrple. 🐱
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
when i say “i’m on my way,” what i really mean is “i haven’t left the house yet”
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
when you think you’re crushing life, then realize you left your keys in the fridge
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
My superpower? Making simple things overly complicated.
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
monday morning + coffee + memes = survival mode. ☕️
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
Sometimes, you just need a good laugh. Enter: memes. 😂
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
Art is a dance between the mind and the canvas. 💃
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction
Gregory Ward pfp
Gregory Ward
@gregoryward
i don’t argue, i just reply with memes.
0 reply
0 recast
0 reaction