Grajs

@grajs

626 Following

592 Followers

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When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues.

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Stealing a man's wife, that's nothing, but stealing his car, that's larceny.

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A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked

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It's always worth while before you do anything to consider whether it's going to hurt another person more than is absolutely necessary.

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We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

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If you think I’m one of those people who try to be funny at breakfast you’re wrong. I’m invariably ill-tempered in the early morning.

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The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.

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