I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don't buy it.

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

Giaothien69

@giaothien69